Marceline’s Birth Story
I really thought I was going to be writing a completely different birth story.
After everything we had talked through during this pregnancy, the change from planning a C-section to planning an induction, and then spending days trying to get my body to go into labor on its own, I honestly had no idea what September 27th would bring. I just knew I was tired, ready to meet my baby, and more than ready to be done being pregnant.
What happened instead was one of the most empowering, emotional, exhausting, and beautiful experiences of my life. It was not perfect, and it was definitely not easy, but it went exactly as it was meant to.
So here is the story of how our sweet Marceline Honey made her way into the world.
On September 27th, I sat in my living room hoping labor would come. I was so tired, sleeping on and off, wondering if my body was preparing for labor, but it really seemed like it was never going to happen. After days of bouncing, walking, drinking raspberry leaf tea, and basically doing everything I could think of, I finally settled further into the idea that I was probably just going to have my induction on September 30th.
I had pretty much accepted that my body was not going to start labor on its own and that we were just going to meet our girl on induction day.
Clearly, my body had other plans.
Around 8pm, I took a really relaxing bath. I had spent most of the day taking naps and then randomly deep cleaning, and after my bath I started having contractions. I spent most of the night timing them, but they were really inconsistent. They would be five minutes apart, then 20 minutes apart, then back to 10 minutes, and I kept thinking, “Maybe I’m not actually in labor.”
We gathered our bags in the living room just in case, my toddler went to bed like normal, and I let a few family members know what was going on. I still wasn’t convinced enough to think this was really it, so eventually I tried to sleep.
I was so restless that I watched TV, cleaned some more, and had a snack.
I finally fell asleep around 11pm, but at 1am I woke up from a contraction that I really had to breathe through. It was different from the ones before it, and that was when I knew I needed to get up, get dressed, and refresh my curls.
LOL.
If I was about to have a baby, I at least needed to look somewhat put together.
Around 2:11am, I woke Luke up and told him I was ready to go to the hospital. He started packing the car while I called my mom to let her know we were leaving. She was the closest to the hospital, so we dropped her off with her and headed in.
We arrived at the hospital around 2:45am.
When they checked me in triage, I was only 3cm and 50% effaced. Even though my contractions were consistent, they wanted me to wait a few hours and check me again.
I was SO worried they were going to send me home.
I knew you could be dilated for days while having contractions and still not actually be in active labor. I really did not want to go through all of that just to be told I wasn’t progressing enough.
Then around 5:30am, the on-call doctor came in and checked me again.
I was 5cm.
We were progressing.
That meant it was time to move to the birthing center and contact my midwife.
At that point, things started moving pretty quickly. Once we got settled in, the contractions really started picking up, and I had such a hard time getting comfortable. I used a peanut ball, which is basically a yoga ball shaped like a peanut, between my legs, and that helped so much.
During each contraction, I would squeeze Luke’s hand and just try to breathe through it. At this point, I was completely focused on getting through one contraction at a time. I did all of this completely unmediated. This fact seems to always shock people.
It was really difficult. All I wanted to do was tense up, but my midwife kept reminding me to breathe and relax my shoulders. Honestly, when I was able to actually do it, it really helped ease the pain.
Around 8am, my midwife checked my cervix again and I was 8cm.
We also learned that my water bag was bulging. It was basically ready to pop but was still intact. After a few more contractions, I started feeling this intense pressure like I really needed to push.
My midwife broke my water, and suddenly it was time.
I started off in this weird side position, but after a few minutes I needed to move. I am so thankful I had a care team that allowed me to do that without questioning me. They were ready to help and simply waited for me to tell them when and where I needed to be.
I had watched plenty of TikToks about different birthing positions and knew there were a few I wanted to try, so I decided to get onto my hands and knees.
I really did most of the work on my hands and knees. It helped move her down, and it was the position that felt right to me, but it was also SO taxing.
Holding myself up while pushing and contracting was exhausting. I was hot, overwhelmed, and eventually needed to get fully naked because I was absolutely burning up.
I cried, yelled, grunted, made every sound possible, and just kept trying to work with what my body was doing.
And this time, I have pictures of all of it.
Brutal pictures.
I am very thankful to have them, but there are definitely some pictures that will never see the light of day.
With every push, I could feel the difference. I could feel her moving further down, and eventually I could actually feel her head coming out.
One of the nurses even asked me if I wanted to touch her head, and my immediate answer was absolutely not.
LOL.
I went right back into pushing. I had no interest in stopping to feel anything. I was focused on getting her OUT.
It was hard to keep up with the contractions and figure out when to push and how hard to push. There was so much pressure, and I was trying to remember to breathe while also pushing with everything I had.
My body was doing so much of the work, but I was exhausted and just trying to keep up with what it was asking me to do.
Eventually, my midwife asked me to turn onto my back and really bear down. And honestly, I didn’t mind it at that point. I had spent so long in other positions that I was ready to have some support underneath me and let my body rest against something.
When I was pushing on my back, I had two nurses holding my legs, but they were really just there for support. Luke was right in front of me, and I was basically choking him out. (His words)
I would grab him and pull him toward me, squeezing him and practically hanging onto him through every push.
But honestly, that helped.
Pulling him into a hug helped me crunch forward, give into the pressure, and push instead of fighting against it.
My midwife was actively massaging and protecting my perineum throughout the pushing, which I was especially thankful for after my first birth. After having a 4th-degree laceration with Talullah, I had thought a lot about tearing again throughout this pregnancy, so having someone intentionally protecting that area while I pushed meant so much to me.
For about 45 minutes, I kept saying, “I don’t want to do this. I’m tired.”
And Luke kept answering me with, “You’re strong. You’ve done this before. You’re so close. You’re climbing that mountain.”
He was literally throwing military sayings at me
He kept me grounded when I was ready to mentally tap out.
And then, at 9:04am, Marceline Honey Boutwell was born.
She was placed directly on my chest, still attached to the cord. Her little body was covered in all the things, she let out that first little cry, and I remember just staring at her in complete awe.
There was SO much relief.
Relief that she was here. Relief that she was okay. Relief that I was okay. And just pure awe that I had actually done it.
Luke kissed my forehead and was so happy. Watching him see her and realizing that we had just done this together was one of the sweetest parts of the entire experience.
I even got to watch him cut the cord while she was still on my chest.
Everything happened right there, and it was amazing.
I sobbed, but not sad tears. It was relief, joy, and this overwhelming feeling of, “I cannot believe I just did that, and everything is okay.”
The entire time I was pushing, I kept asking if she was okay.
My first birth was filled with so much fear. I remember being rushed to get Tallulah out before something terrible happened, and I think that fear stayed with me. Even during this birth, I couldn’t stop thinking that I was taking too long or that something was going to go wrong simply because I wasn’t getting her out fast enough.
But she was okay.
I was okay.
And the whole thing was actually so quick.
It just definitely did NOT feel quick while I was in it.
Now I’m home, just a day after having her, and I feel amazing. I have no major pain, no major cuts or stitches, just the average soreness that comes with giving birth.
After everything I went through with my first delivery, I don’t think I can properly explain how thankful I am to feel this good and to look back on the birth with so much peace.
When I think about the whole experience, I keep coming back to the fact that I spent days trying to convince my body to go into labor.
Then, when I finally stopped waiting for it to happen, my body decided it was time.
I went into labor on my own, progressed quickly, and got to experience the labor and delivery I had been hoping for.
That doesn’t mean it is easy or that every birth will look the same, but for me, there was something really powerful about realizing my body knew what to do even when my brain was full of doubt.
And as much as I would love to take all the credit, Luke seriously kept me locked in and grounded.
We made this beautiful girl together, and we delivered her together.
That is something I will always cherish.
It truly matters who you choose to have beside you. Choose someone who will advocate for you, encourage you, and cheer you on when you feel like you cannot keep going.
There were so many times I broke down during a contraction, but because Luke was so attentive, he was quick to cut me off and reassure me.
“She’s right there, keep going.”
“You’re doing amazing.”
And then I would snap out of it and get right back to pushing.
He held my hand and let me squeeze the life out of his. He reminded me who I was when I forgot for a moment.
Marceline, you were worth every second.
And of course, this is only the written version of her story. I have a vlog coming soon with all the details, the real-time moments, the good, the bad, and all of the sweet baby pictures.
But for now, this is the story of how our Marceline made her way into the world.
And I wouldn’t change a thing.
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