A Small Win, Big Loss

 Some days, the small wins feel so small they almost slip by unnoticed. But today, I’m a acknowledging mine 

Today, my toddler played independently. It wasn’t for long, but it was enough. Enough for me to take a deep breath, sip my redbull, and feel just a little bit like myself. She found a little space between us, and she claimed it without tears or tugging on my leg. That space, as tiny as it was, felt like a gift  a silent “thank you” from her to me. 

It may not seem like much, but to a mom whose world is always busy and always loud, it was everything. A moment where I didn’t have to do or be for someone else. And that moment, I value. 

But with every small win comes a deeper weight I don’t always talk about.

Some days, I feel completely lost in mothering. And in being a wife. I love them both deeply, my child, my husband, our life, but there are days when I can’t seem to find me in the middle of it all.

I’ve struggled with letting my emotions take over. I’ve battled thoughts and habits I thought I’d outgrown. I pull away when I know I should reach out. I know I am needed. I know I am loved. I know I am strong. But sometimes… it still doesn’t feel like enough. Sometimes, the feelings swallow the facts.

And yet, I keep going.

Not because I have to,  but because I want to. Because I have a little girl who watches me, who mimics my every move, who learns how to love herself by the way I love me. Because I have a partner who may not always see the storm in my head, but stands beside me anyway. I keep pushing forward, holding myself together with prayer and grit and the kind of love that chooses to stay, even on the hard days.

That’s what makes the small wins matter so much. They’re not just coffee breaks or quiet minutes. They’re proof that even in the heaviness, I’m still showing up. Still trying. Still finding light.

So today, I celebrate the quiet moment when my toddler gave me space, unspoken.

And I honor the ache that still lingers.

Because both are real.

Both are mine.

And both are shaping me into the woman I was always meant to be.

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